Hey! While I was in the shower, something struck me. The answer to all my worries lately. Ready for it?
BE HAPPY
Simple and true. Here is what I just emailed a friend, concerning this light bulb moment:
I just wrote on my blog about how anal I am. I was angsting about my dog's poor manners and how I was searching out the best trainer around, how I am obsessing about just starting this new story, and worrying over whether I should be knitting or sewing goofy stuff or heirlooms. Suddenly it dawned on me what the answer to all of my troubles is: be happy.
Be happy w/my dog, whom I love no matter what he does. Be happy with my story and just enjoy the heck out of writing. Be happy with my needlework. Who gives a crap if all I ever crochet is rosary bag booties? There's a story behind that last one. I'll tell it in a second.
Anyway, I have decided to quit being so hard on myself. For today. Remind me of this decision tomorrow. I am terrible this way. I go in definite cycles, but yesterday and this morning were doozies of the downward spiral type.
As for rosary bag booties, I'm not Catholic and only know the bare basics about rosaries. It's just that when my niece was a baby, my sister had this Great Aunt Katherine on her husband's side who gave her several sets of these odd-looking, square-toed baby booties. Seems Aunt Katherine was always crocheting rosary bags for her church bazaar, and we surmised that one day when someone had a baby, Aunt Katherine realized she could make two matching rosary bags and they'd pass as booties! After all, they were about the size of a little foot, and tied off at the top to stay on nicely (or contain a bunch of beads.)
I need to be more like Aunt Katherine. I didn't ever meet her, but I can imagine that she just took great joy in her craft.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I am tired of.....
...eating Zone Perfect bars!! Ugh. Especially the Fudge Graham ones. Those are Frank's. I like the Peanut Butter. But mine are gone so I've started in on his. They're too sweet. The only reason I eat them is because I have a sweet tooth and somehow feel they're better for me than a candy bar. And I can control how many I eat cuz they're in individual packaging.
...trying to figure out how to train a cattle dog. I've finally found the experts who can help me, though. This guy has trained national champs in obedience and agility. He has received awards with his own dogs, and many of his staff members have won awards with dogs. He provides feedback in law enforcement trials concerning dogs (ie police dog biting a fleeing suspect, etc,...) and he's been at this for several years. I think he can probably tackle Shadow and me, so we have enrolled in a day of assessment and training. Meanwhile, Shadow is bored. Last night, he "tackled" an empty Coke case and really enjoyed ripping it into a million tiny pieces. This annoyed Frank no end, but I was just happy that the dog found something entertaining and rather innocuous to do with himself for a few happy minutes.
...plotting a new story. This story is not coming easily. I have a hard time pre-planning a book, and I'm about to quit on this one. I'd rather do it seat-of-my-pants and I'm going to revert to that method as soon as I get frustrated enough with working on this synopsis. It stinks trying to come up with stuff before I know my characters. I've done enough work on character sheets to start and not work myself into a hole. I think I may get busy and let the story flow from them.
...worrying over what I should be doing with my needlework. My latest thoughts are, should I be doing needlework the Napoleon Dynamite way, as in, "Whatever I feel like doing! Gosh!" or should I be creating the best I can create, in the way of heirlooms? What is the answer to this??? It's driving me nuts! Heirlooms can take a while. They take years of practice, or hours of tedious sewing, knitting, embroidery. Some things are just fun because you don't have to sweat them. Pincushions. Altoids sewing kits. Bookmarks. They satisfy the need to complete things faster. What to do, what to do. And needlework was always the one thing I didn't sweat so much. Now I've decided to pour my perfectionism into that, too. As Frank said, "It's not enough that each piece must be perfect in your eyes? Now you're putting your perfecting into even deciding what to work on?"
...worrying about what to have in each room of my house, and what to throw out. It bugs me that I can't make decisions. I would like to just know what I liked and what I was hanging on to out of fear, guilt, concern. You know. I just would rather be a little more satisfied and less of a worrywart.
I hate worrywarts!! And look! I'm the worst!
Okay. Back to work on a manuscript that has me worried from the start, about *starting* it!
Sheesh. It's a wonder I ever complete *any* project, and it's an even bigger wonder that I'm ever satisfied with it once I do.
My dog is snoring. That's a satisfying sound. Oh, to just be a sleeping dog.
...trying to figure out how to train a cattle dog. I've finally found the experts who can help me, though. This guy has trained national champs in obedience and agility. He has received awards with his own dogs, and many of his staff members have won awards with dogs. He provides feedback in law enforcement trials concerning dogs (ie police dog biting a fleeing suspect, etc,...) and he's been at this for several years. I think he can probably tackle Shadow and me, so we have enrolled in a day of assessment and training. Meanwhile, Shadow is bored. Last night, he "tackled" an empty Coke case and really enjoyed ripping it into a million tiny pieces. This annoyed Frank no end, but I was just happy that the dog found something entertaining and rather innocuous to do with himself for a few happy minutes.
...plotting a new story. This story is not coming easily. I have a hard time pre-planning a book, and I'm about to quit on this one. I'd rather do it seat-of-my-pants and I'm going to revert to that method as soon as I get frustrated enough with working on this synopsis. It stinks trying to come up with stuff before I know my characters. I've done enough work on character sheets to start and not work myself into a hole. I think I may get busy and let the story flow from them.
...worrying over what I should be doing with my needlework. My latest thoughts are, should I be doing needlework the Napoleon Dynamite way, as in, "Whatever I feel like doing! Gosh!" or should I be creating the best I can create, in the way of heirlooms? What is the answer to this??? It's driving me nuts! Heirlooms can take a while. They take years of practice, or hours of tedious sewing, knitting, embroidery. Some things are just fun because you don't have to sweat them. Pincushions. Altoids sewing kits. Bookmarks. They satisfy the need to complete things faster. What to do, what to do. And needlework was always the one thing I didn't sweat so much. Now I've decided to pour my perfectionism into that, too. As Frank said, "It's not enough that each piece must be perfect in your eyes? Now you're putting your perfecting into even deciding what to work on?"
...worrying about what to have in each room of my house, and what to throw out. It bugs me that I can't make decisions. I would like to just know what I liked and what I was hanging on to out of fear, guilt, concern. You know. I just would rather be a little more satisfied and less of a worrywart.
I hate worrywarts!! And look! I'm the worst!
Okay. Back to work on a manuscript that has me worried from the start, about *starting* it!
Sheesh. It's a wonder I ever complete *any* project, and it's an even bigger wonder that I'm ever satisfied with it once I do.
My dog is snoring. That's a satisfying sound. Oh, to just be a sleeping dog.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
How Not to Write a Manuscript
Well, there are many ways to not be writing. I've discovered a few lately that might be considered the ultimate in procrastination. We've already discussed the huge error of rescuing a dog from animal control and then finding out he's part Aussie Cattle Dog, ie he has dingo blood in him. BIG mistake for writers to own this type of demanding dog. Next, I took improv comedy class. It was fun. It was mentally stimulating, and physical, and all those things that you would think would make me want to write. It didn't. It was just a great way not to write. Plus, I could check it off my "bucket list."
Here are my current procrastinating ways:
1) Taking a beginner's quilting class for 5 weeks
2) Crocheting a rug
2) Crocheting a rug
3) Selling items on Craig's List
4) Still thrift shopping
4) Still thrift shopping
5) Joined a pin cushion enthusiasts Yahoo group!!
6) Looking at just about any/every free needlework tutorial
I can find online, and saving them so I can make things like
the Altoids case (above) as small projects between my big ones
like the 10-year bedspread project I'm knitting out of thread on needles the width of toothpicks
I think I have a small problem with overloading my schedule and overworking my poor hands and eyes. I think a large part of it is a way to fill up my time while I lay off creating stories, trying to consider which market is right for my characters and what I want to tell people thru fiction.
If you can offer any help, it would be appreciated. Is there a Procrastinators Anonymous already, or should I start one? LOLOLOL
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Tossed Out Treasures
I'll admit it. I have an addiction to buying other people's cast-offs. It's getting me into trouble in my own home because there is too much "stuff" in here.
Maybe people get rid of their things for a *reason,* and that reason is NOT supposed to be to clutter up *my* house!
I think I need a 12-step program.
I bought a set of these flour, sugar and coffee (?) canisters this week. But I already own two other canisters sets. And I notice there are several of these currently on eBay and they're not selling that well. <
Also bought one framed print and one framed watercolor that I can put in the renovated bathrooms.
Trouble is, I'm attending this big sale tonight here called "Tossed Out Treasures," and boy, is it full of goodies! I usually come home with plenty of goodies for the house and the cabin. But if I don't rehabilitate myself soon, I'm gonna need another place to put all this stuff.
I need an intervention. If anyone has any words of wisdom or is willing to send me regular reminders to quit bargain shopping, I could really use your help!
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Ponderings on Elevators and War
Today is Wednesday. Hump Day. What's going on in my life today? Well...
I'm pretty proud of myself because I've been somewhat consistent with blogging. Ooh, and another thing I'm proud of is, yesterday I made it all the way to the 19th floor of the Westin Hotel in the elevator! A friend had told me about a jewelry showing there, so I ventured out to look for graduation and birthday gifts. She *hadn't* said the show was on that floor, so I was immediately disappointed when I saw the sign that read, "Jewelry Show--Suite 1921." For years, I've been deathly afraid of elevators. I got really panicky/claustrophobic in an elevator that stopped on me in my 20's, so since then I've had trouble going in them. I resorted to climbing lots of stairs (in some very smarmy stairwells at times) and also asking for low floors when we stayed in rooms in hotels. But thanks to some anti-anxiety medication I took a few years ago, I started back into elevators panic-free. Once off the meds, I forced myself to continue my behavioral therapy by not resorting to stairs. Wow. Now I can really appreciate elevators again. They're fast and efficient. Thank you, Otis the Elevator Man!
The maids are here. Two of them. And there are two men cutting a hole in my bathroom wall. My *new* (as of last year) wall. Apparently there was a cast iron plumbing pipe in there, and when they realized the drywall went right up against it, they cut out the drywall plaster all the way to the paper and let that rest on the pipe. Well, when the pipe gets condensation on it, it wets the drywall, and we'd noticed the wall cracking and being wet. Now they're going to put plastic on it.
It's always *something,* isn't it?
I have to write another scene today. I'm forcing myself to get busy. I really like how this mystery I'm writing is going, but I'm very slow with it at the moment. Not presenting it to anyone for critique, so that means I don't have any real deadlines. Hm, could be a problem!
What else? Dinner at church tonight. We go to a small church, so we're all like family. After that is Bible study. Our teacher, Arnold Schumacher, was in Hitler's youth army. He was pressed into service when he was 14. But he refused to sign the Nazi papers, and I believe he said he refused twice. At that time, my dad was 17 and he lied about his age and joined up to fight for the U.S. When Arnold heard that Dad had been a medic's aide in the war, he said, "Tell your father thank you. If it weren't for the American hospital, I wouldn't be here. They saved my life." Just a little war tidbit that's so interesting to me. We're so trained to think that all the Germans were against us, and we were against all of them. There's always more to a story.
That's it for now, kids! Back to writing. Okay, I'll tell the truth. I've been doing more talking with Silvana, my maid, than writing. Bad Mel. But she's an interesting topic, too. She's from Uruguay. She cleans four or five houses a day, and she's too tired at night to learn English. She wants to, but she can't concentrate. All her friends here speak Spanish. So after five years, she hasn't learned enough English to feel comfortable. I told her if she wants to come over on Saturdays, I can work with her on it. But I suspect she probably won't. I think she needs the down time, anyway. She works very, very hard.
Now I'm really signing off!
I'm pretty proud of myself because I've been somewhat consistent with blogging. Ooh, and another thing I'm proud of is, yesterday I made it all the way to the 19th floor of the Westin Hotel in the elevator! A friend had told me about a jewelry showing there, so I ventured out to look for graduation and birthday gifts. She *hadn't* said the show was on that floor, so I was immediately disappointed when I saw the sign that read, "Jewelry Show--Suite 1921." For years, I've been deathly afraid of elevators. I got really panicky/claustrophobic in an elevator that stopped on me in my 20's, so since then I've had trouble going in them. I resorted to climbing lots of stairs (in some very smarmy stairwells at times) and also asking for low floors when we stayed in rooms in hotels. But thanks to some anti-anxiety medication I took a few years ago, I started back into elevators panic-free. Once off the meds, I forced myself to continue my behavioral therapy by not resorting to stairs. Wow. Now I can really appreciate elevators again. They're fast and efficient. Thank you, Otis the Elevator Man!
The maids are here. Two of them. And there are two men cutting a hole in my bathroom wall. My *new* (as of last year) wall. Apparently there was a cast iron plumbing pipe in there, and when they realized the drywall went right up against it, they cut out the drywall plaster all the way to the paper and let that rest on the pipe. Well, when the pipe gets condensation on it, it wets the drywall, and we'd noticed the wall cracking and being wet. Now they're going to put plastic on it.
It's always *something,* isn't it?
I have to write another scene today. I'm forcing myself to get busy. I really like how this mystery I'm writing is going, but I'm very slow with it at the moment. Not presenting it to anyone for critique, so that means I don't have any real deadlines. Hm, could be a problem!
What else? Dinner at church tonight. We go to a small church, so we're all like family. After that is Bible study. Our teacher, Arnold Schumacher, was in Hitler's youth army. He was pressed into service when he was 14. But he refused to sign the Nazi papers, and I believe he said he refused twice. At that time, my dad was 17 and he lied about his age and joined up to fight for the U.S. When Arnold heard that Dad had been a medic's aide in the war, he said, "Tell your father thank you. If it weren't for the American hospital, I wouldn't be here. They saved my life." Just a little war tidbit that's so interesting to me. We're so trained to think that all the Germans were against us, and we were against all of them. There's always more to a story.
That's it for now, kids! Back to writing. Okay, I'll tell the truth. I've been doing more talking with Silvana, my maid, than writing. Bad Mel. But she's an interesting topic, too. She's from Uruguay. She cleans four or five houses a day, and she's too tired at night to learn English. She wants to, but she can't concentrate. All her friends here speak Spanish. So after five years, she hasn't learned enough English to feel comfortable. I told her if she wants to come over on Saturdays, I can work with her on it. But I suspect she probably won't. I think she needs the down time, anyway. She works very, very hard.
Now I'm really signing off!
Monday, March 31, 2008
A Finished Project--Farmhouse Rug (wall hanging)
This was NOT easy, but I'm happy with the results. I did a lot of over the 2 weeks that Mom was in the hospital two falls back, having an emergency surgery.
Each color required two bobbins of yarn. I cut my "bobbins" from cardboard, because you have to have plenty of yarn on them. The small plastic manufactured ones wouldn't be sufficient. At one point, I think I was carrying 22 bobbins across the rows. It was around the area of the various fields + the small outbuilding.
I'll never forget sitting there in Mom's room with Dad, and glancing up when I heard him snickering. "You spend more time untangling the bobbins than you do knitting," he said. That was a very true statement. So if you decide to do this project, beware! Oh, and it's from the book, Knitter's Stash. It's the farmhouse rug, made with Cascade 220, 100% wool. Since I once hooked a rug where I hand cut all the 1/4" wide strips of wool, only to have my cat pee on it, this "rug" will always be on a wall.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
What Should I Do With My Life?
I'm reading a book called "What Should I Do With My Life?" by Po Bronson and I'm getting a lot out of it. I'm not trying to answer that question. This book won't answer that. It's not a "What Color is Your Parachute." It's more of a series of 50 two-page vignettes about people who either found their calling, or didn't find it, or are still seeking it. Ooh, and there are photos of many of them, so you can "see' them, too.
This book is really cool cuz it makes you think about yourself and where you are in life, what you're contributing, if you really *do* love what you're doing, how you found your niche, etc,... Like, I enjoy knowing that there are people out there who believed with all their hearts that they were doctors, only to practice medicine for years before suddenly realizing it wasn't what they were meant to do. I'm very hard on myself, so knowing people are allowed to make big mistakes, or to go down the wrong path for a while, makes me feel better. I guess it's because I have yet to feel that big sense of accomplishment. Fulfillment is something I'm still seeking, and there are those people in this book who are definitely still on that path with me.
I suppose you could call it a Weight Watchers type mentality that makes me like this book. When I want to really work on losing weight, I go to WW. Why? Because of who is also there: the leader and the weigh-in helpers, who have all earned their jobs by losing their weight and keeping it off are , other WWers who have been around longer than me and call tell me all their weight-loss tips, the joiners who start on the path with me and sort of become my teammates, and the ones who come in after. It's the community effect that spurs me on in other areas of my life, and I think it's why I liked this book. "You're not in this alone" is so inspiring for people.
This book is really cool cuz it makes you think about yourself and where you are in life, what you're contributing, if you really *do* love what you're doing, how you found your niche, etc,... Like, I enjoy knowing that there are people out there who believed with all their hearts that they were doctors, only to practice medicine for years before suddenly realizing it wasn't what they were meant to do. I'm very hard on myself, so knowing people are allowed to make big mistakes, or to go down the wrong path for a while, makes me feel better. I guess it's because I have yet to feel that big sense of accomplishment. Fulfillment is something I'm still seeking, and there are those people in this book who are definitely still on that path with me.
I suppose you could call it a Weight Watchers type mentality that makes me like this book. When I want to really work on losing weight, I go to WW. Why? Because of who is also there: the leader and the weigh-in helpers, who have all earned their jobs by losing their weight and keeping it off are , other WWers who have been around longer than me and call tell me all their weight-loss tips, the joiners who start on the path with me and sort of become my teammates, and the ones who come in after. It's the community effect that spurs me on in other areas of my life, and I think it's why I liked this book. "You're not in this alone" is so inspiring for people.
Friday, March 14, 2008
This is THE coolest!!
I saw this and thought it was the coolest thing I've seen in a while. I hope I don't get in trouble for copying it, but it's so neat, I wanted to share:
What a great example of how books can make us feel. Especially romances.
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